A friend pointed out to me today that the fact that the door to my brand-new corner office (oooh swanky!) is next to a fire escape is actually quite serendipitous, what with the Zombie Apocalypse soon to happen. Call it good contingency planning: In Case Of Zombies Exit Here.
Which reminded me that I haven’t actually compiled my Zombie Apocalypse playlist yet – serious lack of forethought right there… Proper butt-kicking is impossible without a suitable soundtrack.
It works like this: you basically have to pick a song for ten different scenarios, and, if you feel like it, explain why you chose that particular song. So here goes…

1. First song: overall theme for the Apocalypse – Who else but The Doors’ The End – the funereal psychedelic drone of insanity and bleakness, with a Marlon Brandoesque figure lurking in the corner of the local McDonalds., slowly disintegrating and hungrily watching overweight patrons come and go… Until he lets go of his mop and… lunges…

2. Second song plays when you kill your first zombie – Hustle and Cuss – The Dead Weather. We’re gonna hustle to get by, cuss them damn zombies and lick on plenty of dust… Hopefully give them deadbeats a licking too. But not like that.

3. Third song plays when getting chased by a horde – Highway to hell – AC/DC. You can work up some proper adrenalin and speed to this, and still feel a rush of exhilaration. I’m alive! For now…

4. Fourth song plays when you have to kill your loved one –Letters to Cleo – Cruel To Be Kind. Yep. I’ve done my best to understand you babe, but your hickeys are getting seriously disturbing…

5. Fifth song plays when you find a group of survivors – Band Of Skulls – Friends. You don’t know them from a bar of soap and they’ll probably try to eat you at some stage, but hey, for now, they’re your friends.

6. Sixth song plays when you meet a new love interest – I cheated and picked three, I really couldn’t decide. The Kills – U.R.A. Fever. It plays shortly after said love interest was checked for and found innocent of any real fevers. Uncertain Times by The Raveonettes. After all, you’ll have to travel with this person in pretty uncertain times… Or The Pixies with Here Comes Your Man, managing to look manly while being all bloodied and running from a mob. And then you save him.

7. Seventh song plays when you have to make a final stand – Rolling Stones’ Sympathy For The Devil. Once again, upbeat grit to get your blood boiling and all synapses firing. I can see slow motion brain splatter and manic grins and lit cigars.

8. Song eight plays when you think you’ve survived it all: MC Hammer – You Can’t Touch This. Cos you can rock out with your blood-covered cocktails out, as a friend would say.

9. Ninth song plays when you discover a bite mark on you – Alanis Morissette – Ironic. Just too good to not use it. But then again, maybe The Eels’ Fresh Blood would work here too… “Sweet baby, I need fresh blood… Awroooo!” Or maybe I’m in the wrong horror movie here…

10. Tenth song plays over the end credits – Zombie by The Cranberries. Duh.

So go on, shoot with your playlists peeps!