I have a cheesy streak a mile wide. It’s not a secret, and I’m rather proud of my ability to gobble up copious amounts of cute. I figure it gets balanced out with the flipside of my loves: guts and gore and zombies. So that’s okay.
I’m also the proud owner of a hubby who’s incredibly anti-cheese. It causes me to moan and groan greatly every Valentine’s Day – and always, always I have to eat my words at the end of the day, because he invariably does treat me in some special way. Even if it doesn’t include red roses and cheap heart-shaped chocolates. You’d think I’d have learned to stop complaining. But hey, I love the drama…
It feels kind of obvious to say that people look at love in different ways… But we do tend to forget that our take on the most unpredictable of feelings is not the be all and end all. No wonder self-help books on love languages and the differences between sexes are so lucrative.
I bullied some of my friends (and also promised not to bother them until the next Valentine’s Day) to give me their take on love in a roundabout way: through their favourite love songs, romantic scenes in movies or quotes on love. So here goes the cheese fest!
Lars and the Real Girl: “And Bianca loved us all. Especially Lars. Especially him.”
Although it’s a funeral scene, I feel it captures the human need to feel loved. Whether it’s true or imagined, love changes the landscape of our lives, it breaks the tedium of our existence, it inspires art and music and it makes us feel unique.
Most of my favourite love songs are about unrequited love or heartbreak. Considering my romantic history I guess I can understand why. My favourite song of all time is also my favourite love song. Although the song is originally by Ray Charles, I love Van Morrison’s version of it. Go check out You Don’t Know Me by Van Morrison here.
My favourite quote on love was intended as sarcasm and said in passing by a friend that I only met once. I can’t help but imagine that one day it’ll be true:
“Everything revolves around me, revolving around you.”
My song is Make Your Own Kind Of Music by Mamas & Papas… From the film Beautiful Thing – the best gay teen romance film in the world. There’s a scene where Jamie and Ste have escaped the dreary confines of their East London council estate and are chasing one another through a forest (possibly the Epping Forest), and then they kiss. Makes me wanna cry and laugh and dance all at the same time…”
“…in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes”
City of Angels: Seth: “I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.’
And just about every single quote here!
Top Gun (this one’s just a nice cheesy one)
Goose and his Mrs: Carole: Hey, Goose, you big stud!
Goose: That’s me, honey.
Carole: Take me to bed or lose me forever.
Goose: Show me the way home, honey.
As Good As It Gets: ‘You make me want to be a better man.’
And let’s not forget the cheesiest of them all:
‘You complete me’ – Jerry Maguire.
Talita Mossie Meisie
When Bloom meets Penelope in The Brothers Bloom here…
My romantic moments should be sublime and ridiculous. Red roses and chocolate – pfft ag please!
The most romantic movie for me at age 16 was Lady Jane (1986) with Helena Bonham-Carter. It’s an amazing love story… But doesn’t have a happy ending…
My romantic song of choice is always Pink Martini’s Hey Eugene, and the words that always get me are: ‘and you told me you weren’t that drunk and that I was your favourite salsa dancer you have ever come across in New York City…’
This epic scene in Moulin Rouge…
Songs: Nothing Compares To You (Sinead O Connor) – makes me think of all the breakups I have had. Do You Really Want To Hurt Me (Culture Club) – makes me think of all the relationships I have had and Woman (John Lennon) – makes me long for… John Lennon.
Quotes: “The notion that there might be a better or more convenient time to love has cost many people a lifetime of regret.” – Leo Buscaglia
Quote: “Ek dink nie ek sal ooit daaroor kom nie. ‘n Mens leer om dit te hanteer. Jy leer om toneel te speel, maar die wond bly dieselfde. Jy leer net om pleisters op te sit – dis al wat jy doen.” T.T. Cloete
Movies: The closing scene on the train in Next Stop Wonderland: the guy and girl don’t know each other and never share a scene… Until the end, when the train lurches and she stumbles against him. And stays right there, with his arm around her.
The wedding scene in Best Years Of Our Lives: the guy and girl see each other at a friend’s wedding months after a really bad goodbye. They stare at each other throughout the ceremony, and afterwards, he walks to her and kisses her.
Tom Hanks’s dad in You’ve Got Mail: “Have you ever known me to be with someone like that (the one person in the world who makes you truly happy)? Have you?”
Hanks in the same movie to Meg Ryan: “Sometimes a guy just wants the impossible.”
The end of Great Expectations: Estella: “Can you ever forgive me?” Finn: “Don’t you know me at all?” And she did…
Love songs? UB40’s take on Can’t Help Falling In Love – it got sung at my wedding!
Loads of songs! Romeo & Juliet – Dire Straits, Atlantis in jou oë – Koos Kombuis, Engel – Karen Zoid, I drove all night – Cindy Lauper, Brilliant Disguise – Bruce Springsteen, I can hear your heartbeat – Chris Rea, Lost in you – Rod Stewart, Hallelujah – Rufus Wainwright
LA Confidential: Lynn: “You’re the first man in five years who didn’t tell me I look like Veronica Lake inside of a minute.” Bud White: “You look better than Veronica Lake.”
Four Weddings And A Funeral. The girl learned sign language to be able to talk to Hugh Grant’s characters deaf brother… She signs “that’s mice” instead of “nice”, but he doesn’t mind…
There’s a scene in Big Fish that I find really touching. Senior Sandra (Jessica Lange) finds senior Ed (Albert Finney) in the bathtub… And then she joins him. It’s touching and sad and very sweet. I can’t remember exactly what they said, but roughly: Ed: “I was drying out…” Sandra: “I don’t think I’ll ever dry out…” They’re basically saying goodbye in preparation for Ed’s death… But also reliving every moment of their strange romance.
Bon Iver & St Vincent’s take on Crooked Fingers’ Sleep All Summer always gets me. It’s not really soppy love, but rings very true… “I will change for you but babe that doesn’t mean that I will be a better man.”
And then, a quote that just sums it all up… “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”